My boyfriend and I just returned from a trip to see my family in Eastern Canada. It's one of several trips I've taken this last year or so, but one of only a handful I've taken that don't involve music or a show or a band of some kind. We had a great time, visiting my parents and relatives, sightseeing along the East coast, eating out, enjoying the local cuisine... my first lobster roll ever was decadent. If you've never tried one, and are ever able to, you must.
While waiting in the airport to head home, we had time before boarding and I decided to pick up a book. Normally SaintC and Lady Elaine swap books back and forth and chat about their latest page-turner, while I'm nowhere near as well read. We'll say I'm more of a TV person. But one book by Gail Vaz-Oxlade caught my eye. She is a TV show host for several Canadian programs dealing with money, overspending, savings, and getting your finances under control. In watching her shows I've always appreciated her approach. The book is called "Never Too Late - Take Control of Your Retirement and Your Future." I have retirement savings and some equity in my home, but I confess I've always been confused at investing and understanding what I would really need to do in order to be secure in my retirement age. I am not looking for any magic tricks here - just clear direction. So I grabbed it hoping for an epiphany.
My eyes were opened. What I like about the book is that it takes into account your overall net worth, not just savings or earnings, in determining what your needs would be. It estimated based on net earnings and not gross income, and helped you determine what you were spending, vs. how much money you made - whether you were in a positive or negative state (spending more/less than earnings consistently). Then you would calculate your "Personal Savings rate" needed, per month, to be in order to build savings that would provide around 70 percent of your income during retirement. Keep in mind this was based on a 5% rate of compound interest, which I don't think is always realistic, but an average.
The harsh light of reality: Turns out I am negative 17% on my Personal Savings Rate. I need to be saving about $500 MORE per month even to come close to catching up to where I should be. Ouch. All this time I thought I was doing ok. But I did the calculations - and although I'm responsible, pay off my credit and my other bills each month, and contribute to monthly savings, I'm overspending like a fricking demon. The numbers don't lie.
Of course I know what's to blame, and where the cashola is going. When I looked back at what I spent on travel for flights, hotels, food, taxi, concert tickets, VIP experiences, in the last 2 years or so, it was disarming. I mean, I knew it would be a lot- but what I hadn't realized is how far back all this spending is putting me off of where I need to be in the future. The book does encourage balancing enjoying your life in the moment, while being ready for what comes ahead. The problem is the scales are tipping way deep on the enjoying life side. More than maybe they should be.
And yet this past week I went ahead and booked a ticket to go with SaintC to see Duran Duran in Portland. We are going in and out overnight, no shopping or extra costs, save for taxi and food expenses, so we're looking at around 1200 bucks per person for the 24 hour jaunt. Plus our 2nd trip to the UK is just around the corner.
I can't seem to help myself when it comes to indulging in Duran Duran related activities. I'm like a junkie that keeps coming back for the next fix. But I’m faced with the possibility, like any junkie, that the cost of all this travel and entertainment and excitement could be coming at my detriment. Do I need to figure out when enough is enough, maybe kind of like hitting bottom?
But how much harm is Duran Duran doing me? And not even just to my pocketbook.. is all this band chasing and fantasizing and pining and striving and reaching for something unattainable just a way to stave off having to grow up and get serious? Or is it just a way for me to have an escape from the day to day of working, saving, exercising, investing, cleaning, dog walking, weed pulling, errand running? Why the hell should I deny myself that? Unless of course, it does me a disservice in the long run. Hmm. After writing and going back and reading this, my head hurts and I feel spent. $pent. Interesting choice of words.
Maybe next time I'm at the airport I'll pick up a copy of Vogue instead.
That Girl
Friday, August 5, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Hoping for an Encore..London left me wanting more.
Our flight landed back home in Calgary Saturday at about 12:30 pm, after spending 6 really fabulous days in London, England. The flight was 9 hours, and my hope was to push through without sleeping until late evening to fight the jet lag - but I could only stay awake until around 6:30 pm. I was wide awake at 4:30 am Sunday, and have been waking up at 4 am each morning since. I still feel foggy...almost like I have tunnel vision. I think maybe the experiences of last week are still overcrowding my brain, and my wee pea of a mind doesn't have room for much else just yet.
By the time we landed the 3 of us were tired and fully worn out, since we were sightseeing and shopping every day as though our lives depended on it, cramming in as much as we could before having to head home again. It was a super trip and I saw more and learned more about London than I ever expected.
When we came to the UK to embark on the Duran Duran adventure we'd been discussing for about 5 years, it was all the while knowing about Simon LeBon's laryngitis and the shows that had been postponed to date; it was given that going to Cardiff to see the band perform may not be a possibility. Further to that, to make it more heart wrenching, we'd received emails from the Fan Club two days before our departure that SaintC and I had both been selected for the Meet and Greet, so had the show taken place, all 3 of us would have had the Duran experience in the UK we'd always dreamed of. We were thrilled about the win and hopeful, but didn't let ourselves get too excited.
And so it was on our first evening in London we got the news. We learned the entire roster of UK dates would be rescheduled. We took the approach that we had to be grateful for where we were and the opportunities of the week that lay ahead. We shrugged it off, in keeping with the phrase SaintC loves so much, "Keep Calm and Carry On". We cancelled our hotel in Cardiff and decided to make London and area our general stomping ground for the week.
And did we cover a lot of ground! It was, truly - a great education.. filled with beautiful structures, history, natural wonders and surprisingly, great weather. I couldn't imagine the privelege of spending every day in a city that is surrounded by and constructed of so many works of art.
I loved seeing the palaces, and the Abbey... London Eye was cool too. We took a tour to Windor Castle and Bath (probably the loveliest city I've ever laid eyes on) and also Stonehenge... now that was really impressive. I've seen pictures of Stonehenge in books and seen them on TV. But when you get there - and really see the landscape and space where these stones are located, surrounded by farmland, it really hits home that there is no earthly explanation as to how they ended up in that spot. It's quite uncanny.
One day Lady Elaine and I walked from Mayfair where we stayed, on through Hyde Park and towards Kensington Gardens, spent some time at the Princess Diana Memorial, made our way along the Flower Path to Kensington Palace, and wandered through the Enchanted art exhibition they had inside. The Prince Albert memorial was fantastic as well. Our last full day was spent at the Tower of London and visiting Trafalgar Square and Picadilly Circus. So fantastic. I took a lot of pictures and could have taken more, but I really enjoyed just walking around and taking it all in.
The shopping. Oh the shopping... Every possible indulgent item you could want is readily available. Let's just say I was blown away, as were the funds in my chequing account. But the crowds of people were overwhelming to me. I had been in New Delhi, India in 2005 and I felt it was worse in London. In the Primark store I was surprised to learn it was like a Boxing Day (for those south of the border - think Black Friday) feeding frenzy all the time. The one benefit of a crowd that size is to see every type of fashion being worn. I adored the UK styles, and tried to fit some new ideas into my wardrobe with my purchases.
So here I am, home again, with a giant pile of fantastic pictures in my camera and in my head, a mound of dirty laundry, and a duffel bag of new clothes that I have no room for in my closet. And the question remains about what to do when the UK shows are rescheduled. Our group of three have had a few discussions about the timelines suggested online so far, and whether it will be realistic for any of us to return to see the Cardiff show. If the Fan Club will uphold our meet and greet wins, I can't imagine not making the effort - but the costs involved combined with the lack of my available vacation time makes the prospect daunting. I also risk alienating my spouse with yet another holiday that doesn't include him, followed by alienating my employer and my fellow staffers ("What is that bitch making to allow her to travel the way she does?") But it seems inevitable. When push comes to shove...whenever we learn about a new show, a tour, any opportunity to see Duran Duran, we usually find a way to make it happen. The "you only live once" addage gets thrown out here and there.. along with "F**ck it, I'm going, and I'll deal with the fallout later."...and on and on.
While Simon's health remains in question there is a small part of me that would like the delay to be as long as possible, so I'll have a better chance of saving and planning to make the second trip. But I know that's not the right attitude to have in this case. For now I'll have to accept that what will be will be, and if the timing is right for us to get to Cardiff for what would surely be the Duran Duran event we've always wanted, then the music Gods will work their magic and we'll be there. And at the very least, I'll plan to come back to the UK someday, after enjoying it so much, and I can say with some confidence that Duran Duran or not, London will always be waiting.
That Girl
By the time we landed the 3 of us were tired and fully worn out, since we were sightseeing and shopping every day as though our lives depended on it, cramming in as much as we could before having to head home again. It was a super trip and I saw more and learned more about London than I ever expected.
When we came to the UK to embark on the Duran Duran adventure we'd been discussing for about 5 years, it was all the while knowing about Simon LeBon's laryngitis and the shows that had been postponed to date; it was given that going to Cardiff to see the band perform may not be a possibility. Further to that, to make it more heart wrenching, we'd received emails from the Fan Club two days before our departure that SaintC and I had both been selected for the Meet and Greet, so had the show taken place, all 3 of us would have had the Duran experience in the UK we'd always dreamed of. We were thrilled about the win and hopeful, but didn't let ourselves get too excited.
And so it was on our first evening in London we got the news. We learned the entire roster of UK dates would be rescheduled. We took the approach that we had to be grateful for where we were and the opportunities of the week that lay ahead. We shrugged it off, in keeping with the phrase SaintC loves so much, "Keep Calm and Carry On". We cancelled our hotel in Cardiff and decided to make London and area our general stomping ground for the week.
And did we cover a lot of ground! It was, truly - a great education.. filled with beautiful structures, history, natural wonders and surprisingly, great weather. I couldn't imagine the privelege of spending every day in a city that is surrounded by and constructed of so many works of art.
I loved seeing the palaces, and the Abbey... London Eye was cool too. We took a tour to Windor Castle and Bath (probably the loveliest city I've ever laid eyes on) and also Stonehenge... now that was really impressive. I've seen pictures of Stonehenge in books and seen them on TV. But when you get there - and really see the landscape and space where these stones are located, surrounded by farmland, it really hits home that there is no earthly explanation as to how they ended up in that spot. It's quite uncanny.
One day Lady Elaine and I walked from Mayfair where we stayed, on through Hyde Park and towards Kensington Gardens, spent some time at the Princess Diana Memorial, made our way along the Flower Path to Kensington Palace, and wandered through the Enchanted art exhibition they had inside. The Prince Albert memorial was fantastic as well. Our last full day was spent at the Tower of London and visiting Trafalgar Square and Picadilly Circus. So fantastic. I took a lot of pictures and could have taken more, but I really enjoyed just walking around and taking it all in.
The shopping. Oh the shopping... Every possible indulgent item you could want is readily available. Let's just say I was blown away, as were the funds in my chequing account. But the crowds of people were overwhelming to me. I had been in New Delhi, India in 2005 and I felt it was worse in London. In the Primark store I was surprised to learn it was like a Boxing Day (for those south of the border - think Black Friday) feeding frenzy all the time. The one benefit of a crowd that size is to see every type of fashion being worn. I adored the UK styles, and tried to fit some new ideas into my wardrobe with my purchases.
So here I am, home again, with a giant pile of fantastic pictures in my camera and in my head, a mound of dirty laundry, and a duffel bag of new clothes that I have no room for in my closet. And the question remains about what to do when the UK shows are rescheduled. Our group of three have had a few discussions about the timelines suggested online so far, and whether it will be realistic for any of us to return to see the Cardiff show. If the Fan Club will uphold our meet and greet wins, I can't imagine not making the effort - but the costs involved combined with the lack of my available vacation time makes the prospect daunting. I also risk alienating my spouse with yet another holiday that doesn't include him, followed by alienating my employer and my fellow staffers ("What is that bitch making to allow her to travel the way she does?") But it seems inevitable. When push comes to shove...whenever we learn about a new show, a tour, any opportunity to see Duran Duran, we usually find a way to make it happen. The "you only live once" addage gets thrown out here and there.. along with "F**ck it, I'm going, and I'll deal with the fallout later."...and on and on.
While Simon's health remains in question there is a small part of me that would like the delay to be as long as possible, so I'll have a better chance of saving and planning to make the second trip. But I know that's not the right attitude to have in this case. For now I'll have to accept that what will be will be, and if the timing is right for us to get to Cardiff for what would surely be the Duran Duran event we've always wanted, then the music Gods will work their magic and we'll be there. And at the very least, I'll plan to come back to the UK someday, after enjoying it so much, and I can say with some confidence that Duran Duran or not, London will always be waiting.
That Girl
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Coachella - I'm forever changed
Long before heading out to Indio, California for the 4 day trip that would forever change how I feel about music festivals, live music and music in general, I had promised Rhonda and Amanda ( our Daily Duranie blog pals ) that I would blog about it and share the experience. Here I am two weeks after said festival, completely blown away by my time at Coachella, and I've been hesitant to write about it. The reasons for my delay have something to do with time ( finding time to actually sit and write..since my birthday fell almost immediately after coming home and there were activities keeping me busy around that, plus my work is a tad chaotic right now ) but also to do with the fact that my enjoyment of the Coachella experience had (GASP) very little to do with Duran Duran. Shocking I know.
I will admit that Duran Duran was a primary catalyst in our decision to attend Coachella, and I thoroughly enjoyed their set (Lady Gaga covers not withstanding). But unfortunately as these things go, our hopes for prime views and interaction with the band whenever we attend a DD show were as usual, inflated. We were met with some pitfalls that kept us from having the experience we hoped for with our favorite Brits, and while there really is only one man to blame (KANYE) and I do intend to hold a lifelong grudge, I'm at rest with the fact that there was enough to thrill me that weekend to offset my negativity about the DD debacle.
From start to finish the weekend was a whirlwind of great music, searing heat, tired feet, great people, celebrity spotting and new experiences.
Having never attended a festival before, we decided to make the most of it.Since SaintC and I are not really rough it in the mud types, and staying at a hotel and commuting every day in and out of the festival seemed like a giant waste of time, we elected for the Safari Tent camping accomodations. While this comes at a substantial cost, the main appeal is that you get Artist level (backstage) access to the festival for the full three days, plus furnished air conditioned tent accomodations (two queen size beds, fridge, dresser, nightstand, lamp, mirror, electricity), free breakfasts and late night snacks, water and pop in unlimited supply, free massages (a pleasant surprise) and golf cart concierges that drive you to each stage and drop you at the backstage entrances, where you can freely enter. The tent compound is just a brief walk from the grounds, but there is considerable distance between the stages, so getting a breezy ride in the heat versus dirty blistered tootsies was a huge plus.
Our first day, Friday, I was up at 6 am. Too excited to sleep. Took pictures at sunrise and mentally prepared myself. We had a few daytime acts we wanted to catch from early afternoon onwards, starting with Rural Alberta Advantage on the outdoor stage. Highlights for me that day included standing on stage for Cee Lo Green's performance (which he was late for) and seeing Usher show up right behind us to catch the set. We were watching from a few feet away as Lauryn Hill prepared to go on stage.. she looked and sounded incredible. Earlier in the day Cold Cave played at one of the tents and were totally impressive. It was nice to just casually check out bands we had never heard of and learn about new music. A quick break and then we launched into evening .. more celeb spotting including Tara Reid and Paris Hilton. We got started with the Black Keys. We only stayed for a few songs as the stage was on lockdown and the crowd was unruly, but within minutes of leaving the set we saw Paul McCartney coming from a backstage entrance and he gave us a wave (that was completely surreal). Plus I got to chat with Danny Devito during a golf cart ride. We dashed back to our tent to change into running shoes for the Aquabats and Robyn's utterly fantastic set. Her energy was infectious! In between all this activity we somehow managed to scrounge for food and didn't drink anything but bottled water on the fly (strange I know since most people booze it up at Coachella) but there just wasn't time for cocktails and lounging. Too many acts to see! That the next morning SaintC informed me that at the end of the night I was fast asleep before my head even hit the pillow.
On Saturday I met up with some other Safari tent folks for a yoga session in the morning before we headed out. That started the day off properly. This day held the promise of a bit more free time as we had some breaks between sets, and there was less pressure since we weren't as familiar with the acts playing. It was easy to roam in and out of the stages and tents to hear music that was new to us - and in doing so, we were introduced to some unreal acts, Freelance Whales being one. What a unique band. Such an easy listen but so interesting and so many layers to their sound at the same time. It was the hottest of the 3 days and we tried to stick to acts in the tents to take advantage of the shade. Being outside for any period of time was pretty unbearable. It made me appreciate how lucky we were for the perks we had (A/C, free water, golf cart rides) compared to the folks that were out in the blazing sun for every set. That day we also caught a British band called Elbow, that were so awesome I've already bought both their albums. Later we meandered over to the VIP area and had a bite to eat, which also offered some much needed shade, cleaner porta potties, and a ladies only freshen-up lounge where you could use sunscreen, hairspray, etc for the cost of tip for the attendants. Definitely handy. This day we also discovered our access to the Artist's camping area which was great. Tables and lounging areas, lots of artists and celebs wandering around, terrific people watching. Didn't really have the nerve to approach anyone in there until the next day, but I'll get to that. Anyhoo....
Saturday's evening set brought an onstage viewing opportunity for Bright Eyes and Mumford and Sons, with 30,000 people in the crowd and us looking down from above, and I have to say it was awesome. The sound quality from backstage was pretty good considering. We had thought it might be bad but we could hear just fine. After M and S we slipped away to see the London Suede in one of the tents, knowing they were going to lockdown the Mainstage for production only, so we weren't in a rush to get back there for the headliners. We made our way back and entered via backstage, intent on heading down to Guest viewing for the Arcade Fire set. However it seemed our friends at security were confused about what wristband allowed what access. So in the melee, we managed to steal a spot in the "media only" pit, at the very front of the stage, surrounded by photographers and their massive professional cameras. I admit I looked like a bit of a tool with my tiny digital Samsung pocket camera, trying to make like I was supposed to be in the photo pit when I clearly had no business being there. Alas, four songs in we were ushered out along with several others that were lucky enough to steal their way in. Arcade Fire's sound was rich, fun, inspiring and just made you feel good and want to move. I was just happy to be there regardless. But as we made our way down the guest viewing area that was barricaded off from the rest of the crowd, I was stopped in my tracks when we walked right into Rhianna and her security crew. Yet another mind blowing star struck moment. We stood right behind her for the bulk of the set and enjoyed the rest of the show. When Arcade Fire dropped 300 massive balloon-type bouncing balls that contained LED lights that glowed and flickered different colors, I was having so much fun that I was almost on another plane. The balls bounced over and around us, and just watching all these massive glowing balls move through and over the crowd was stunning. It was just one of those times where you lose yourself in the chaos and craziness of a moment and just let go and enjoy it like a little kid. That was probably my favorite part of the whole weekend.
On Sunday, even from the time we got up in the morning, SaintC and I were both aware of the pressure. We had cut our teeth in the 2 days prior and knew enough about how things operated now.. we knew there was a good chance Duran Duran's stage would be on lockdown for their set, and that viewing from the stage (which SaintC has always dreamed about) may not be a possibility. Kanye West was headlining. We knew he had the power and was just egotistical enough to demand the stage be locked out a full 4 acts ahead of his set. But we remained hopeful and ventured out for a noontime set. Gord Downie (vocalist for the Tragically Hip, pretty much the most important Canadian rock act ever to exist) had a solo set which was attended by a group of about 50 Canadians. It's still so shocking to me that the Hip have played with the Rolling Stones to sold out sports stadiums in Canada, but only draw about 200 people (mostly Canucks) to small bars in places like Texas, since they just never caught on in the US. Regardless the set was terrific, and Gord was kind enough to stand for photos with us and say hello. Following a short break City and Color was playing, an offshoot of Canadian band Alexis on Fire, headed by Dallas Green. From the stage they sounded fabulous. Gord Downie joined in the set. The only disappointment was the hip hop sounds bleeding through from the mainstage and drowning them out. Dallas's wife Leah, a well known TV host in Canada, came on stage to shoot some pictures and briefly said hello. One of the band members of Cage the Elephant showed up and started chatting up SaintC. It was a great afternoon. But after that the pressure was on.
We knew that we'd need to be back at Mainstage and be ready to take a position for stage viewing for Death from above 1979 in order to have a chance to secure a spot there for Duran Duran, which was starting around 7 pm. So as we started milling about and lingering by the stairs that led onstage (usually you wait in line there and then when production/security says it's ok, they let you up). One of the security guys tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Just so you know, the stage is on lockdown the rest of tonight for production staff only. Each band requires special credentials and you have to have that in order to get on stage. Sorry." With that our hopes were dashed. And what sucked even more is that guest viewing was already crammed with a bunch of people that were just jockeying for position to see the Strokes, which followed DD's set, and didn't even care that DD was playing. We ended up standing beside Simon LeBon's kids for the set (even THEY didn't have band credentials). Our position was lousy, and taking pictures and videos was really tough. However I still rocked out of course. They played a lot of my favorites.. Planet Earth which is a mainstay for me. The Chauffer was played to a big screen video accompaniment which was awesome, and Scissor Sisters even showed up to sing with some songs from ANYIN with them! (Side note - Scissor Sisters had played the night prior, but their set conflicted with Arcade Fire on another stage, so we had to miss it unfortunately) DD wrapped with Girls on Film and a View to a Kill medley; they even included a quick cover of Lady Gaga's Poker Face. This met with mixed reviews but all in all a great performance.
After DD we weren't interested in seeing the Srokes and we pretty much decided we were boycotting Kanye West for the rest of our days on earth. So we made our way to the Artist's Compound just in time to see Duran Duran arrive to applause and appreciation from everyone inside. They moved to the back of the compound swiftly so SaintC and I sauntered over to the lounge area by the Lake to sit in the grass and have a rest, and figure out our next move. Lots of great celeb watching from this area. Earlier in the day I'd seen Nick Simmons, as we stood in line for an organic blueberry smoothie. He is tall and skinny but cute as they come. In the compound Kelly Osbourne walked by with a group of friends too. As we reminisced about our day and took a few pictures, we noticed John and Simon walk out, presumably to catch the Strokes set. Then we bumped into another Safari Tent camper and struck up a chat. While standing there consoling this poor camper about her douchebag boyfriend, I saw Roger Taylor walk past with one of his handlers.
Earlier in the day during our morning yoga session, our instructor Blake had told us to put our intentions for the day out into the world. I asked for the courage and confidence to ask for/and-or attempt to obtain what I wanted from the day. Remembering this from a prior discussion, SaintC said to me, "There he goes. What was it you said this morning? You asked for courage and confidence. Go. GO." So I walked behind Roger and quickly caught up to him. I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him if he could take a moment for a picture. He shrugged and kept walking saying, "Sorry we're not doing that right now.. I have to go"... He jogged to catch up to his handler and walked back into the trailers.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed but I couldn't really expect another outcome. It's not always the right time or place to approach a famous person, but I still followed all my rules: He wasn't working at the time, and wasn't with his family, (I knew the woman he was with wasn't his wife) so I took the opportunity to try and get a photo, but came up empty handed. Even still I did speak to him. That in itself was something.
Upon heading to the exit of the Artist's compound we bumped into another Safari camping bunch, Donna and her family. She and her husband had brought their two sons to Coachella from Ontario, who had both managed to make like they weren't with their parents the whole weekend. It became a bit of a joke at the campground about Donna's "secret" kids. They were really great people. We gathered around a big screen TV watching Kanye's set with a few of the other artists and folks hanging around, stayed for a bit to chat, and shared a few laughs about the experiences of the weekend.
From there SaintC and I went our separate ways so she could catch She Wants Revenge at the Gobi Tent, and I ventured over to the Sahara Tent, where rave and dance electronica plays all day and into the night. I cut loose and danced a little bit on my own in the crowd until they shut it down, and then caught up with SaintC at the Gobi tent for the tail end of the last band, which was great. We met up with some fellow Safari Campers there and decided to cap off the night with a few cocktails on the deck chairs in front of our tent. We stayed up and talked with our new friends until we couldn't keep our eyes open anymore. The next day I didn't want to leave. I wanted another day, another few days of great music, fun, dancing, relaxing, celebrity watching and general mayhem. It felt like the last day of summer camp.
Coachella has converted me full-on to the music festival experience. I will be back next year and intend to get a Safari Tent again, hopefully with a big group of friends in tow. To be honest I'm not even really concerned with next year's line up. Sure, it would be great to see a band I'm crazy about (are you listening, Airborne Toxic Event?) But it doesn't matter to me who is playing because it will be a chance to see some great bands and people watch, make new friends, and enjoy the sunshine and the mountains of Palm Springs. To me the Coachella experience was pretty magical.. a few days of getaway where you see things you'd never expect (one of the Beatles just strolling past you can be quite overwhelming) and can have the freedom to try something new. Even with Duran Duran being there - who we always fervently pursue, it can be said that their involvement wasn't what made Coachella fantastic for me. It was part of it, but not all of it, and for this reason it's changed my outlook on the music experience from here on in.
And with that, this being the longest blog post I'll likely ever make, it can safely be said I'm forever changed.
ThatGirl
I will admit that Duran Duran was a primary catalyst in our decision to attend Coachella, and I thoroughly enjoyed their set (Lady Gaga covers not withstanding). But unfortunately as these things go, our hopes for prime views and interaction with the band whenever we attend a DD show were as usual, inflated. We were met with some pitfalls that kept us from having the experience we hoped for with our favorite Brits, and while there really is only one man to blame (KANYE) and I do intend to hold a lifelong grudge, I'm at rest with the fact that there was enough to thrill me that weekend to offset my negativity about the DD debacle.
From start to finish the weekend was a whirlwind of great music, searing heat, tired feet, great people, celebrity spotting and new experiences.
Having never attended a festival before, we decided to make the most of it.Since SaintC and I are not really rough it in the mud types, and staying at a hotel and commuting every day in and out of the festival seemed like a giant waste of time, we elected for the Safari Tent camping accomodations. While this comes at a substantial cost, the main appeal is that you get Artist level (backstage) access to the festival for the full three days, plus furnished air conditioned tent accomodations (two queen size beds, fridge, dresser, nightstand, lamp, mirror, electricity), free breakfasts and late night snacks, water and pop in unlimited supply, free massages (a pleasant surprise) and golf cart concierges that drive you to each stage and drop you at the backstage entrances, where you can freely enter. The tent compound is just a brief walk from the grounds, but there is considerable distance between the stages, so getting a breezy ride in the heat versus dirty blistered tootsies was a huge plus.
Our first day, Friday, I was up at 6 am. Too excited to sleep. Took pictures at sunrise and mentally prepared myself. We had a few daytime acts we wanted to catch from early afternoon onwards, starting with Rural Alberta Advantage on the outdoor stage. Highlights for me that day included standing on stage for Cee Lo Green's performance (which he was late for) and seeing Usher show up right behind us to catch the set. We were watching from a few feet away as Lauryn Hill prepared to go on stage.. she looked and sounded incredible. Earlier in the day Cold Cave played at one of the tents and were totally impressive. It was nice to just casually check out bands we had never heard of and learn about new music. A quick break and then we launched into evening .. more celeb spotting including Tara Reid and Paris Hilton. We got started with the Black Keys. We only stayed for a few songs as the stage was on lockdown and the crowd was unruly, but within minutes of leaving the set we saw Paul McCartney coming from a backstage entrance and he gave us a wave (that was completely surreal). Plus I got to chat with Danny Devito during a golf cart ride. We dashed back to our tent to change into running shoes for the Aquabats and Robyn's utterly fantastic set. Her energy was infectious! In between all this activity we somehow managed to scrounge for food and didn't drink anything but bottled water on the fly (strange I know since most people booze it up at Coachella) but there just wasn't time for cocktails and lounging. Too many acts to see! That the next morning SaintC informed me that at the end of the night I was fast asleep before my head even hit the pillow.
On Saturday I met up with some other Safari tent folks for a yoga session in the morning before we headed out. That started the day off properly. This day held the promise of a bit more free time as we had some breaks between sets, and there was less pressure since we weren't as familiar with the acts playing. It was easy to roam in and out of the stages and tents to hear music that was new to us - and in doing so, we were introduced to some unreal acts, Freelance Whales being one. What a unique band. Such an easy listen but so interesting and so many layers to their sound at the same time. It was the hottest of the 3 days and we tried to stick to acts in the tents to take advantage of the shade. Being outside for any period of time was pretty unbearable. It made me appreciate how lucky we were for the perks we had (A/C, free water, golf cart rides) compared to the folks that were out in the blazing sun for every set. That day we also caught a British band called Elbow, that were so awesome I've already bought both their albums. Later we meandered over to the VIP area and had a bite to eat, which also offered some much needed shade, cleaner porta potties, and a ladies only freshen-up lounge where you could use sunscreen, hairspray, etc for the cost of tip for the attendants. Definitely handy. This day we also discovered our access to the Artist's camping area which was great. Tables and lounging areas, lots of artists and celebs wandering around, terrific people watching. Didn't really have the nerve to approach anyone in there until the next day, but I'll get to that. Anyhoo....
Saturday's evening set brought an onstage viewing opportunity for Bright Eyes and Mumford and Sons, with 30,000 people in the crowd and us looking down from above, and I have to say it was awesome. The sound quality from backstage was pretty good considering. We had thought it might be bad but we could hear just fine. After M and S we slipped away to see the London Suede in one of the tents, knowing they were going to lockdown the Mainstage for production only, so we weren't in a rush to get back there for the headliners. We made our way back and entered via backstage, intent on heading down to Guest viewing for the Arcade Fire set. However it seemed our friends at security were confused about what wristband allowed what access. So in the melee, we managed to steal a spot in the "media only" pit, at the very front of the stage, surrounded by photographers and their massive professional cameras. I admit I looked like a bit of a tool with my tiny digital Samsung pocket camera, trying to make like I was supposed to be in the photo pit when I clearly had no business being there. Alas, four songs in we were ushered out along with several others that were lucky enough to steal their way in. Arcade Fire's sound was rich, fun, inspiring and just made you feel good and want to move. I was just happy to be there regardless. But as we made our way down the guest viewing area that was barricaded off from the rest of the crowd, I was stopped in my tracks when we walked right into Rhianna and her security crew. Yet another mind blowing star struck moment. We stood right behind her for the bulk of the set and enjoyed the rest of the show. When Arcade Fire dropped 300 massive balloon-type bouncing balls that contained LED lights that glowed and flickered different colors, I was having so much fun that I was almost on another plane. The balls bounced over and around us, and just watching all these massive glowing balls move through and over the crowd was stunning. It was just one of those times where you lose yourself in the chaos and craziness of a moment and just let go and enjoy it like a little kid. That was probably my favorite part of the whole weekend.
On Sunday, even from the time we got up in the morning, SaintC and I were both aware of the pressure. We had cut our teeth in the 2 days prior and knew enough about how things operated now.. we knew there was a good chance Duran Duran's stage would be on lockdown for their set, and that viewing from the stage (which SaintC has always dreamed about) may not be a possibility. Kanye West was headlining. We knew he had the power and was just egotistical enough to demand the stage be locked out a full 4 acts ahead of his set. But we remained hopeful and ventured out for a noontime set. Gord Downie (vocalist for the Tragically Hip, pretty much the most important Canadian rock act ever to exist) had a solo set which was attended by a group of about 50 Canadians. It's still so shocking to me that the Hip have played with the Rolling Stones to sold out sports stadiums in Canada, but only draw about 200 people (mostly Canucks) to small bars in places like Texas, since they just never caught on in the US. Regardless the set was terrific, and Gord was kind enough to stand for photos with us and say hello. Following a short break City and Color was playing, an offshoot of Canadian band Alexis on Fire, headed by Dallas Green. From the stage they sounded fabulous. Gord Downie joined in the set. The only disappointment was the hip hop sounds bleeding through from the mainstage and drowning them out. Dallas's wife Leah, a well known TV host in Canada, came on stage to shoot some pictures and briefly said hello. One of the band members of Cage the Elephant showed up and started chatting up SaintC. It was a great afternoon. But after that the pressure was on.
We knew that we'd need to be back at Mainstage and be ready to take a position for stage viewing for Death from above 1979 in order to have a chance to secure a spot there for Duran Duran, which was starting around 7 pm. So as we started milling about and lingering by the stairs that led onstage (usually you wait in line there and then when production/security says it's ok, they let you up). One of the security guys tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Just so you know, the stage is on lockdown the rest of tonight for production staff only. Each band requires special credentials and you have to have that in order to get on stage. Sorry." With that our hopes were dashed. And what sucked even more is that guest viewing was already crammed with a bunch of people that were just jockeying for position to see the Strokes, which followed DD's set, and didn't even care that DD was playing. We ended up standing beside Simon LeBon's kids for the set (even THEY didn't have band credentials). Our position was lousy, and taking pictures and videos was really tough. However I still rocked out of course. They played a lot of my favorites.. Planet Earth which is a mainstay for me. The Chauffer was played to a big screen video accompaniment which was awesome, and Scissor Sisters even showed up to sing with some songs from ANYIN with them! (Side note - Scissor Sisters had played the night prior, but their set conflicted with Arcade Fire on another stage, so we had to miss it unfortunately) DD wrapped with Girls on Film and a View to a Kill medley; they even included a quick cover of Lady Gaga's Poker Face. This met with mixed reviews but all in all a great performance.
After DD we weren't interested in seeing the Srokes and we pretty much decided we were boycotting Kanye West for the rest of our days on earth. So we made our way to the Artist's Compound just in time to see Duran Duran arrive to applause and appreciation from everyone inside. They moved to the back of the compound swiftly so SaintC and I sauntered over to the lounge area by the Lake to sit in the grass and have a rest, and figure out our next move. Lots of great celeb watching from this area. Earlier in the day I'd seen Nick Simmons, as we stood in line for an organic blueberry smoothie. He is tall and skinny but cute as they come. In the compound Kelly Osbourne walked by with a group of friends too. As we reminisced about our day and took a few pictures, we noticed John and Simon walk out, presumably to catch the Strokes set. Then we bumped into another Safari Tent camper and struck up a chat. While standing there consoling this poor camper about her douchebag boyfriend, I saw Roger Taylor walk past with one of his handlers.
Earlier in the day during our morning yoga session, our instructor Blake had told us to put our intentions for the day out into the world. I asked for the courage and confidence to ask for/and-or attempt to obtain what I wanted from the day. Remembering this from a prior discussion, SaintC said to me, "There he goes. What was it you said this morning? You asked for courage and confidence. Go. GO." So I walked behind Roger and quickly caught up to him. I tapped him on the shoulder and asked him if he could take a moment for a picture. He shrugged and kept walking saying, "Sorry we're not doing that right now.. I have to go"... He jogged to catch up to his handler and walked back into the trailers.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed but I couldn't really expect another outcome. It's not always the right time or place to approach a famous person, but I still followed all my rules: He wasn't working at the time, and wasn't with his family, (I knew the woman he was with wasn't his wife) so I took the opportunity to try and get a photo, but came up empty handed. Even still I did speak to him. That in itself was something.
Upon heading to the exit of the Artist's compound we bumped into another Safari camping bunch, Donna and her family. She and her husband had brought their two sons to Coachella from Ontario, who had both managed to make like they weren't with their parents the whole weekend. It became a bit of a joke at the campground about Donna's "secret" kids. They were really great people. We gathered around a big screen TV watching Kanye's set with a few of the other artists and folks hanging around, stayed for a bit to chat, and shared a few laughs about the experiences of the weekend.
From there SaintC and I went our separate ways so she could catch She Wants Revenge at the Gobi Tent, and I ventured over to the Sahara Tent, where rave and dance electronica plays all day and into the night. I cut loose and danced a little bit on my own in the crowd until they shut it down, and then caught up with SaintC at the Gobi tent for the tail end of the last band, which was great. We met up with some fellow Safari Campers there and decided to cap off the night with a few cocktails on the deck chairs in front of our tent. We stayed up and talked with our new friends until we couldn't keep our eyes open anymore. The next day I didn't want to leave. I wanted another day, another few days of great music, fun, dancing, relaxing, celebrity watching and general mayhem. It felt like the last day of summer camp.
Coachella has converted me full-on to the music festival experience. I will be back next year and intend to get a Safari Tent again, hopefully with a big group of friends in tow. To be honest I'm not even really concerned with next year's line up. Sure, it would be great to see a band I'm crazy about (are you listening, Airborne Toxic Event?) But it doesn't matter to me who is playing because it will be a chance to see some great bands and people watch, make new friends, and enjoy the sunshine and the mountains of Palm Springs. To me the Coachella experience was pretty magical.. a few days of getaway where you see things you'd never expect (one of the Beatles just strolling past you can be quite overwhelming) and can have the freedom to try something new. Even with Duran Duran being there - who we always fervently pursue, it can be said that their involvement wasn't what made Coachella fantastic for me. It was part of it, but not all of it, and for this reason it's changed my outlook on the music experience from here on in.
And with that, this being the longest blog post I'll likely ever make, it can safely be said I'm forever changed.
ThatGirl
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Here we go again
Flights are booked. Hotels reservations made. Time off is secured at work, pets are scheduled to be with caregivers of various kinds. Platinum level VIP tickets are purchased. The Visa cards lay bleeding in our handbags. Our families, friends, and spouses sit and shake their heads in bewilderment.
It's Duran Duran tour time once again.
2011 is going to be a big year for us. The 3 of us have been talking about this year for a very long time. At least 4 years discussing how we wanted to celebrate our (gulp) 40th year on this earth. Technically Lady Elaine isn't going to be 40 until next year.. but we generally take these things on as a collective. We can decide as a group to be the age of our oldest or youngest member at any given time, in order to suit the situation. So for all intensive purposes, it is OUR 40th birthday.
We knew even while Duran Duran was touring Red Carpet Massacre that another album and tour would likely coincide with this milestone for us. Back then we knew we'd want to do something big to acknowledge it, and a trip to the UK was high on the list. So here we are with a new DD album (All You Need Is Now) and a UK tour to go with it. We've deliberated and discussed all the variables and booked everything - now we just have to wait until the last week in May for it all to unfold as we've imagined it. The timing could not have been better.
Other friends and family I have often have a tough time understanding our devotion and dedication to this pursuit. But having recently decided to join the ranks of Twitter, the sheer numbers of fans that are equally devoted is really coming to light for me, and it's great to know we're part of the ranks of a pretty big club. OK while I KNOW there are lots of fans on DDM and LOTS of people that attend the shows in their own areas, I would really love to know the actual percentage of fan club members that travel internationally on a regular basis to see the band. While I'd like to think this club is pretty exclusive, I now know it's much bigger than I realized.
Lady Elaine and SaintC have been following Twitter posts and using a joint Twitter account for much longer than I have. It took SaintC giving me her old unused iPhone to get me hooked. To the girl's credit they'd been trying to get me on some kind of Mac produced communication device for eons but I'd resisted. As soon as I started using it and seeing what it could do I started downloading apps, including Twitter. And that was that. I set up my own account. When I started reading the Duran Duran fan blogs like FanGirl1978, Backstage Rider, and Daily Duranie it made me aware that DD fans are really like no other in terms of the legnths they will go to in order to see the band. And it never gets old.
I have heard of Dead Heads before.. Grateful Dead fans that followed the band from place to place. The hard core Duranies like us are doing the same thing but alas, Deadheads have an information page on Wikipedia - Duranies do not. That aside, I can't think of another band that has fans that will go anywhere at any cost, travelling for hours, paying what we do for exclusive seating to see these performances on the other side of the globe. We are true fans!
So I got to thinking, now that we're on the cusp of this great trip, we're so excited to go (not to mention that SaintC and I are also making the jaunt to Coachella this year, and we're excited about that too).. what happens if this is the last album? Where would that leave us? We thought maybe that was possible with RCM but somehow this feels different. What if after this tour and album the band decides that DD has run its course and is no longer going to be making music and/or touring? We have asked ourselves this before, but what if this is really it?
We spend so much time speculating and planning and anticipating these trips, and while we do travel to see other bands, it's nowhere near the extent of our travels to see DD. What if we didn't have this to pursue anymore? It's hard to imagine their devotion to us as fans would outlive our devotion to them as a band. I enjoy this so much - and it has to be said that lots of people that know me (that know US) ..think of it as part of our identity. A part of who we are. It is part of us, and I just can't imagine not having it to look forward to on a regular basis.
So I need to pour a 2nd cup of coffee, take a step back and breathe. Be so happy that we can do this and that our lives and jobs and lifestyles allow us the luxury to indulge in this passion we have for this music, this band, this experience. This year is going to be a fantastic one. And maybe I just don't want it to be over too fast. Ok. So I will choose, to try to live in the moment ...and holy crap it just came to me, because all you need is now. Wow. Gasp. That was a bit heavy for 7:30 am.
That Girl
It's Duran Duran tour time once again.
2011 is going to be a big year for us. The 3 of us have been talking about this year for a very long time. At least 4 years discussing how we wanted to celebrate our (gulp) 40th year on this earth. Technically Lady Elaine isn't going to be 40 until next year.. but we generally take these things on as a collective. We can decide as a group to be the age of our oldest or youngest member at any given time, in order to suit the situation. So for all intensive purposes, it is OUR 40th birthday.
We knew even while Duran Duran was touring Red Carpet Massacre that another album and tour would likely coincide with this milestone for us. Back then we knew we'd want to do something big to acknowledge it, and a trip to the UK was high on the list. So here we are with a new DD album (All You Need Is Now) and a UK tour to go with it. We've deliberated and discussed all the variables and booked everything - now we just have to wait until the last week in May for it all to unfold as we've imagined it. The timing could not have been better.
Other friends and family I have often have a tough time understanding our devotion and dedication to this pursuit. But having recently decided to join the ranks of Twitter, the sheer numbers of fans that are equally devoted is really coming to light for me, and it's great to know we're part of the ranks of a pretty big club. OK while I KNOW there are lots of fans on DDM and LOTS of people that attend the shows in their own areas, I would really love to know the actual percentage of fan club members that travel internationally on a regular basis to see the band. While I'd like to think this club is pretty exclusive, I now know it's much bigger than I realized.
Lady Elaine and SaintC have been following Twitter posts and using a joint Twitter account for much longer than I have. It took SaintC giving me her old unused iPhone to get me hooked. To the girl's credit they'd been trying to get me on some kind of Mac produced communication device for eons but I'd resisted. As soon as I started using it and seeing what it could do I started downloading apps, including Twitter. And that was that. I set up my own account. When I started reading the Duran Duran fan blogs like FanGirl1978, Backstage Rider, and Daily Duranie it made me aware that DD fans are really like no other in terms of the legnths they will go to in order to see the band. And it never gets old.
I have heard of Dead Heads before.. Grateful Dead fans that followed the band from place to place. The hard core Duranies like us are doing the same thing but alas, Deadheads have an information page on Wikipedia - Duranies do not. That aside, I can't think of another band that has fans that will go anywhere at any cost, travelling for hours, paying what we do for exclusive seating to see these performances on the other side of the globe. We are true fans!
So I got to thinking, now that we're on the cusp of this great trip, we're so excited to go (not to mention that SaintC and I are also making the jaunt to Coachella this year, and we're excited about that too).. what happens if this is the last album? Where would that leave us? We thought maybe that was possible with RCM but somehow this feels different. What if after this tour and album the band decides that DD has run its course and is no longer going to be making music and/or touring? We have asked ourselves this before, but what if this is really it?
We spend so much time speculating and planning and anticipating these trips, and while we do travel to see other bands, it's nowhere near the extent of our travels to see DD. What if we didn't have this to pursue anymore? It's hard to imagine their devotion to us as fans would outlive our devotion to them as a band. I enjoy this so much - and it has to be said that lots of people that know me (that know US) ..think of it as part of our identity. A part of who we are. It is part of us, and I just can't imagine not having it to look forward to on a regular basis.
So I need to pour a 2nd cup of coffee, take a step back and breathe. Be so happy that we can do this and that our lives and jobs and lifestyles allow us the luxury to indulge in this passion we have for this music, this band, this experience. This year is going to be a fantastic one. And maybe I just don't want it to be over too fast. Ok. So I will choose, to try to live in the moment ...and holy crap it just came to me, because all you need is now. Wow. Gasp. That was a bit heavy for 7:30 am.
That Girl
Saturday, October 30, 2010
RANDOM FIXATION - BANDS
SIMON – LET’S TALK ABOUT YOUR FACE
I’ve always been attracted to older men. I see young girls today going all “fangirl” on the Justin Beibers of the world and to be honest – I just don’t get it. At 8 years old I had dreams of holding hands with Scott Baio, 12 years my senior. At 10 years old I had dreams of making out with Tom Cruise (I know – don’t say it), 10 years my senior. And at 12 years old to present day, I’ve had dreams of getting down and dirty with DD’s front man Simon (most recently Robert Pattinson –but I’ll save that blog for a future NSFW posting).
I think my fixation on older men is warranted. Some guys just get better with age, agreed? Have you seen Ben Affleck in “The Town”? Daniel Craig as “Bond”? Hugh Jackman in just about anything?? These men REEK of sex so badly that it sends my lady parts into overdrive! Of course I can’t confirm any of these guys haven’t had some “work” done… but if they have – someone has done a damn good job. They look GOOD for their age. They have wrinkles where wrinkles should be. It’s appealing. It’s sexy. And it suits them.
Now Simon. You know I love you. You grabbed my hand and gently squeezed while gazing deep into my eyes at the Barrymore Theatre in November 2007. It was a special moment for me and I know you felt it too. But Simon my love – we need to talk about your face. Something strange is going on above the shoulders and to be frank, I just don’t like it. It’s starting to affect our relationship and that makes me sad. Whoever advised you that a little nip and tuck would be great well… they lied. Please get a second opinion. You’re quickly going from boy next door to Kenny Rogersville and what you need to do it talk to George Clooney. You see George knows how to play the game. No one WANTS to get old (I’m filling out an application for Extreme Makeover as I type!), but Mr. Clooney knows how NOT to look like a freak. A little snip here, a little tuck there – it’s all done in good time. It’s not meant to be OBVIOUS and Simon, what you’re doing is TOTALLY obvious. It’s scary. It’s shocking. And it doesn’t look good.
Simon – again. I love you. And I really want our relationship to work so please hear me out. STOP. Let the powers that be age your body gracefully and when it’s time for an upgrade – call me. Let’s chat. I know you want to.
I’ve always been attracted to older men. I see young girls today going all “fangirl” on the Justin Beibers of the world and to be honest – I just don’t get it. At 8 years old I had dreams of holding hands with Scott Baio, 12 years my senior. At 10 years old I had dreams of making out with Tom Cruise (I know – don’t say it), 10 years my senior. And at 12 years old to present day, I’ve had dreams of getting down and dirty with DD’s front man Simon (most recently Robert Pattinson –but I’ll save that blog for a future NSFW posting).
I think my fixation on older men is warranted. Some guys just get better with age, agreed? Have you seen Ben Affleck in “The Town”? Daniel Craig as “Bond”? Hugh Jackman in just about anything?? These men REEK of sex so badly that it sends my lady parts into overdrive! Of course I can’t confirm any of these guys haven’t had some “work” done… but if they have – someone has done a damn good job. They look GOOD for their age. They have wrinkles where wrinkles should be. It’s appealing. It’s sexy. And it suits them.
Now Simon. You know I love you. You grabbed my hand and gently squeezed while gazing deep into my eyes at the Barrymore Theatre in November 2007. It was a special moment for me and I know you felt it too. But Simon my love – we need to talk about your face. Something strange is going on above the shoulders and to be frank, I just don’t like it. It’s starting to affect our relationship and that makes me sad. Whoever advised you that a little nip and tuck would be great well… they lied. Please get a second opinion. You’re quickly going from boy next door to Kenny Rogersville and what you need to do it talk to George Clooney. You see George knows how to play the game. No one WANTS to get old (I’m filling out an application for Extreme Makeover as I type!), but Mr. Clooney knows how NOT to look like a freak. A little snip here, a little tuck there – it’s all done in good time. It’s not meant to be OBVIOUS and Simon, what you’re doing is TOTALLY obvious. It’s scary. It’s shocking. And it doesn’t look good.
Simon – again. I love you. And I really want our relationship to work so please hear me out. STOP. Let the powers that be age your body gracefully and when it’s time for an upgrade – call me. Let’s chat. I know you want to.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Who we are, where we've been, and the bands that fall in between
When Saint C and Lady Elaine starting talking about the 3 of us doing a blog, I began thinking about who I know that blogs and the purpose they serve. I have a couple of friends that blog and I read them both. One good friend talks about her own band and their experiences ...and the other talks about her experiences as a new mom. I get the sense early on that this conglomeration of musings will be very different.
We are 3 women with different lives and have a variety of opinions and thoughts about unlimited subject matter. We're not afraid to say what we really think at the best of times, and when the 3 of us get talking there isn't a lot we won't share. Although most of my friends would concede I'm likely the most vocal, outspoken and extroverted of the 3 of us, even still I wonder how ready we are, or how ready I am, to share what we experience or talk about privately in a public forum...assuming someone will actually follow and read what we write here. I guess we're about to find out. Here goes.
In the 30 + years that we've been friends, our lives have gone in lots of different directions. Each of us has moved to different cities at various points in our lives - in earlier years there were months and even years between our having regular contact with each other, only to find ourselves come together again about 14 years ago - all living in the same city - each of us on our own, with every possible opportunity in front of us. We've been pretty much inseparable since and haven't looked back.
Since then our friendship has seen marriages, divorces (mine), moves, the purchase of homes, heartaches, illness and struggles that come with age. We have had changes in our jobs, careers, boyfriends, and bodies. We've gained and lost weight together and apart, each of us has had other friends we've known come, go, remain, and even pass away. We've watched in awe as our sisters and friends have made the decision to have families, looking out at parenting from a distance in some ways with wonder and admiration - and in other ways as though it was some awful disease we were terrified to catch. It has to be said that the history between us runs deep and goes very far.
Part of what I love about our friendship is the continued pursuit of the interests we've had since we were young.. Duran Duran is the prime example. From our early teens onward this band (and several other musicians) have been an obsession we are completely submerged in. It's not only about the music but the men and the sex part of course... and in some cases the objects of our desire have remained as desirable to us as ever. It's something we've never "outgrown" and I'm glad for it. And for those who don't get it or understand, it's just not important that you do. The way I see it I'm just fully pursuing the things that make happy, glad to be alive and bring me joy.. not everyone can say that.
My personal obsession with musicians started early. The first real concert I attended (save for Donny and Marie with the Osmonds at age 10) was Bryan Adams, at age 13. Lady Elaine and Saint C were both in tow. At the time rush seating was the standard so we arrived early for the best chance to be at the front. We were crushed against the barricades by the crowd but I was close enough to reach up and grab Bryan's shoe. The next year I remember being camped out in the lobby of the Delta Hotel in search of Corey Hart. We went up and down elevators and stalked the hallways looking for him, only to meet up with his band (which they planted to distract us), while they snuck Mr. Hart out of a side door and out of the building. Bastards. At the concert that night once again we rushed the stage to the front and became bruised and battered for the best possible vantage point. It's the price you pay.
The same year I went to see a group called the Spoons perform at Flipside, which was a teenage nightclub I spent my weekends in. After the show a large group of kids mobbed their limousine out in the parking lot. I saw an opportunity and jumped in the limo, and shared a hot smooch with my favorite member of the band (he'll remain nameless on the basis that I was total jail bait at the time). At the edge of the parking lot I jumped out of the limo and watched them drive off, feeling like I'd been touched by rock and roll angels. That summer SaintC and I stayed up all night and left the house early to go see Tears for Fears, heading to the Saddledome at mid day to accost the tour bus. The drummer and some other band dudes showed up and entertained us for a spell, sharing autographs and chit chat. Then when Roland and Curt showed up in their own tour bus, all we got was a chance to grab their jackets as they shoved past us and into the building. But that was enough for me at the time. I got to TOUCH them.
20 years later when Saint C and I hit up the downtown core after the INXS concert, the strategy was the same but our tactics had matured. We had grown past waiting outside with all the other groupies, hoping for a glimpse of our target hopping onto a tour bus. We'd graduated to booking rooms at the nicer hotels and frequenting the lounges hoping for a drink or a chat with the band. At the time, new INXS front man JD Fortune was at the top of his game, (albeit this was short lived) and was definitely an object of interest for me.
At that concert we were front and centre and I was handed Jon Farriss' drumstick at the close of the show. While that seemed like perfection in itself, we still wanted the chance to meet the band. As it happened we stumbled upon the tour bus in the front of the Palliser Hotel and got the chance for autographs and a chat. With experience on our side, we came equipped with Sharpie markers and CD sleeves ready to be signed. JD asked us how we liked the performance and seemed genuinely concerned with what the fans thought. I chatted with Jon and mentioned I'd seen them live in 1987 back in the Hutchence days - I wanted him to know they had done a good job cultivating their original fan base. He seemed deeply surprised. We went back to our hotel after this chance meeting, completely fired up. I couldn't remember feeling more star struck in my life. That was until 2 years later, of course, when we stood face to face with Duran Duran in New York City on Broadway.
But that's a story in itself for another time. Duran Duran will always be the holy grail of our musical pursuits. While they continue to foster a massive fan base that is equally as crazy as we are, they play fewer shows in distant locales, and are far less accessible than other bands we've met. They cost us more money and time and travel than any other band. But the more difficult challenge makes the victory twice as sweet.
In some ways, we're still doing some of the same kinds of things we did at 14. Some of us (not naming names) may not be fully comfortable even admitting it - but while our identities are confidential perhaps they will cut me some slack on this entry. The appeal is that we can indulge in the same fantasies we had in our youth - with all the angst and passion we had back then carrying over to some degree...but now we have the money, freedom and means to do it properly. This interest has also bled into a love for lots other bands and for new and interesting music. It's a perfect excuse for the chance to travel to different cities, stay in cool hotels, shop and sight-see, see awesome live shows and get that incredible high that comes from being there. I don't know if other fans feel this way - but for me there is nothing quite like it.
It's about escape. And fun. And living life to the fullest. And staying young. Young at heart, anyways.
That Girl
We are 3 women with different lives and have a variety of opinions and thoughts about unlimited subject matter. We're not afraid to say what we really think at the best of times, and when the 3 of us get talking there isn't a lot we won't share. Although most of my friends would concede I'm likely the most vocal, outspoken and extroverted of the 3 of us, even still I wonder how ready we are, or how ready I am, to share what we experience or talk about privately in a public forum...assuming someone will actually follow and read what we write here. I guess we're about to find out. Here goes.
In the 30 + years that we've been friends, our lives have gone in lots of different directions. Each of us has moved to different cities at various points in our lives - in earlier years there were months and even years between our having regular contact with each other, only to find ourselves come together again about 14 years ago - all living in the same city - each of us on our own, with every possible opportunity in front of us. We've been pretty much inseparable since and haven't looked back.
Since then our friendship has seen marriages, divorces (mine), moves, the purchase of homes, heartaches, illness and struggles that come with age. We have had changes in our jobs, careers, boyfriends, and bodies. We've gained and lost weight together and apart, each of us has had other friends we've known come, go, remain, and even pass away. We've watched in awe as our sisters and friends have made the decision to have families, looking out at parenting from a distance in some ways with wonder and admiration - and in other ways as though it was some awful disease we were terrified to catch. It has to be said that the history between us runs deep and goes very far.
Part of what I love about our friendship is the continued pursuit of the interests we've had since we were young.. Duran Duran is the prime example. From our early teens onward this band (and several other musicians) have been an obsession we are completely submerged in. It's not only about the music but the men and the sex part of course... and in some cases the objects of our desire have remained as desirable to us as ever. It's something we've never "outgrown" and I'm glad for it. And for those who don't get it or understand, it's just not important that you do. The way I see it I'm just fully pursuing the things that make happy, glad to be alive and bring me joy.. not everyone can say that.
My personal obsession with musicians started early. The first real concert I attended (save for Donny and Marie with the Osmonds at age 10) was Bryan Adams, at age 13. Lady Elaine and Saint C were both in tow. At the time rush seating was the standard so we arrived early for the best chance to be at the front. We were crushed against the barricades by the crowd but I was close enough to reach up and grab Bryan's shoe. The next year I remember being camped out in the lobby of the Delta Hotel in search of Corey Hart. We went up and down elevators and stalked the hallways looking for him, only to meet up with his band (which they planted to distract us), while they snuck Mr. Hart out of a side door and out of the building. Bastards. At the concert that night once again we rushed the stage to the front and became bruised and battered for the best possible vantage point. It's the price you pay.
The same year I went to see a group called the Spoons perform at Flipside, which was a teenage nightclub I spent my weekends in. After the show a large group of kids mobbed their limousine out in the parking lot. I saw an opportunity and jumped in the limo, and shared a hot smooch with my favorite member of the band (he'll remain nameless on the basis that I was total jail bait at the time). At the edge of the parking lot I jumped out of the limo and watched them drive off, feeling like I'd been touched by rock and roll angels. That summer SaintC and I stayed up all night and left the house early to go see Tears for Fears, heading to the Saddledome at mid day to accost the tour bus. The drummer and some other band dudes showed up and entertained us for a spell, sharing autographs and chit chat. Then when Roland and Curt showed up in their own tour bus, all we got was a chance to grab their jackets as they shoved past us and into the building. But that was enough for me at the time. I got to TOUCH them.
20 years later when Saint C and I hit up the downtown core after the INXS concert, the strategy was the same but our tactics had matured. We had grown past waiting outside with all the other groupies, hoping for a glimpse of our target hopping onto a tour bus. We'd graduated to booking rooms at the nicer hotels and frequenting the lounges hoping for a drink or a chat with the band. At the time, new INXS front man JD Fortune was at the top of his game, (albeit this was short lived) and was definitely an object of interest for me.
At that concert we were front and centre and I was handed Jon Farriss' drumstick at the close of the show. While that seemed like perfection in itself, we still wanted the chance to meet the band. As it happened we stumbled upon the tour bus in the front of the Palliser Hotel and got the chance for autographs and a chat. With experience on our side, we came equipped with Sharpie markers and CD sleeves ready to be signed. JD asked us how we liked the performance and seemed genuinely concerned with what the fans thought. I chatted with Jon and mentioned I'd seen them live in 1987 back in the Hutchence days - I wanted him to know they had done a good job cultivating their original fan base. He seemed deeply surprised. We went back to our hotel after this chance meeting, completely fired up. I couldn't remember feeling more star struck in my life. That was until 2 years later, of course, when we stood face to face with Duran Duran in New York City on Broadway.
But that's a story in itself for another time. Duran Duran will always be the holy grail of our musical pursuits. While they continue to foster a massive fan base that is equally as crazy as we are, they play fewer shows in distant locales, and are far less accessible than other bands we've met. They cost us more money and time and travel than any other band. But the more difficult challenge makes the victory twice as sweet.
In some ways, we're still doing some of the same kinds of things we did at 14. Some of us (not naming names) may not be fully comfortable even admitting it - but while our identities are confidential perhaps they will cut me some slack on this entry. The appeal is that we can indulge in the same fantasies we had in our youth - with all the angst and passion we had back then carrying over to some degree...but now we have the money, freedom and means to do it properly. This interest has also bled into a love for lots other bands and for new and interesting music. It's a perfect excuse for the chance to travel to different cities, stay in cool hotels, shop and sight-see, see awesome live shows and get that incredible high that comes from being there. I don't know if other fans feel this way - but for me there is nothing quite like it.
It's about escape. And fun. And living life to the fullest. And staying young. Young at heart, anyways.
That Girl
Friday, October 22, 2010
RANDOM FIXATIONS - BOYS
WHY MEN CAN’T MAN UP
Let me first put out this disclaimer – I’m not the most experienced woman in the world when it comes to men. I’ve never married, I have no children, and my longest committed relationship lasted no more than a year and – err… a half. But I’ve dated A LOT - and looking back I know I’ve been fucked over by more than my fair share of guys. Am I stupid? No. Naïve? No. Maybe. Am I bitter? Hell yeah! I think all girls have been there at some point in their lives. You meet someone you fancy, you think they like you back, you fall hard, then after much pain and heartbreak you realize the guy was never really into you (insert “it’s not you, it’s me”…), had a wife or girlfriend(s), was gay, or was a complete all-round fucking jerk that everyone warned you about but you went for anyway (i.e. John Mayer – not that I’ve been with him but so I’ve heard).
I admit I’ve learned my lesson. At 38 years old - I’m pretty picky about my friendships with men and whom I choose to go out with. Roughly translated - it means I’m a crusty thirty-something bitch who doesn’t date much, drinks far too much wine, and who reads Twilight fan fiction in her spare time. Not that any of this is BAD – I think I’m a great girl who has her shit together – it’s just how I roll. And I know my friends love me for it.
So what got me thinking about the loser men I’ve been with and the many levels of heartache that went with said loser men was my co-worker whom I’ll affectionately call “G”. I wouldn’t want to reveal his REAL name, but let’s just say it rhymes with “Chord”. HA! So “G” is a royal fucker over of women, and a man who just can’t “MAN UP’ and tell a woman straight to her face how he honestly feels. “G” is a nice looking dude in his mid-thirties - smart, successful, and by most standards a pretty decent guy. But “G” dates a new girl each week – most are young (I’m hoping over 18 but you never know – groan), cute, and kind of dumb to be brutally honest. He’s up front with everyone but the girl of the week what his true feelings are – that she’s there for sex and to be there for him until he can find a replacement… yet at the same time he says he can’t wait to settle down. Seriously? I mean, what’s the deal? Why can’t a man just MAN UP and tell someone how they really feel from the get go? Honesty does not make you a fucktard. Being an asshole does.
Is the inability of a man to not MAN UP a disease? Is it innate? Or is it something a guy is taught in some secret boy school that we’re not aware of? Certainly science can cure this. One can pop Viagra to get one head going, can’t they do something about the other end? Could we offer a course at school like say, communication 101 for boys? Have them apply for a Puberty Permit? Offer an “Honesty Incentive” on your tax return? Geez – what’s the big deal? Why is this so hard?
So yes - back to “G”. I met said co-worker one day with the flavor of the week. Random hellos, how are you - no big deal. The next day at work he drops by my office and our conversation went something like this:
Me – Hey G, sorry but I forgot your girlfriend’s name. She seems sweet.
G – (snorts) “Girlfriend” is kind of a loose term.
Me – Oh – well you were smiling and laughing and holding hands. I only assumed…
G – (laughs) She’s a nice girl but she’s young so you know (shrugs)…
Me – Um… no. I don’t know. What’s the deal?
G – Well she’ll do for now.
Do for now. Seriously fucker? Really, I shouldn’t care but the crusty thirty-something bitch in me starts to rear her ugly head. I’ve been there. I’ve been THAT girl. It honestly pains me on her behalf but alas, I’m too polite to unleash crusty inner bitch on the dude while at work and oh yeah, my boss is right next door. I have to at least try and be somewhat professional.
Fast-forward two weeks. I meet “G” walking his dog the local off-leash park, and yes walking with yet another young gal. Not hand holding mind you, but I can SEE the tell tale look in her eye as she gazes over at him while strolling along the pathway. Seriously. It’s obvious. If I could describe it in song, Debbie Boon would be belting out “You Light Up My Life” in the background. Ugh. So here we go. Next day at work I run into “G” and our conversation goes something like this:
Me – So, new girl?
G – HA! No. Did you see the physique on her?
Me – Uh, sorry?
G – Well she’s a bit chunky. Not my thing.
Me – She’s really pretty.
G – Yeah she’s alright I guess.
Me – So why are you hanging out with her if you don’t like her?
G – Well she won’t stop texting me.
Me – So how did she get your number? Stalker?
G – No - I gave it to her.
Me - Why?
G – Well she asked for it. But she’ll get the hint that I’m not interested.
Yes. Because giving your cell number to a girl that’s obviously interested in you is the SURE way to send that kind of message. OMFG! Seriously? Can you not just say right up front that you’re not looking for anything romantic? How about wording something (hell - LIE if you have to!) so as not to lead someone on? Why do men feel the need to play this game? Tell them you’re not into it, you have a girlfriend back East – DO SOMETHING but don’t pull a girl’s chain because – dude – it’s just not cool. It really needs to stop. And if you’re some gal reading this who thinks a guy is just playing hard to get then STOP. Trust me. If he wants you – you’ll know it. They will MAKE the effort. Listen to your friends before your heart because sadly, sometimes that’s the only way. And if you’re a guy reading this blog who leads a girl on just because it’s how it is – then fuck you. Strap on the balls and MAN UP. I’m taking a stand against the random fuckery of women and rallying for the straight up truth. It’s time.
LADY ELAINE
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