Who we are, where we've been, and the bands that fall in between

When Saint C and Lady Elaine starting talking about the 3 of us doing a blog, I began thinking about who I know that blogs and the purpose they serve. I have a couple of friends that blog and I read them both.  One good friend talks about her own band and their experiences ...and the other talks about her experiences as a new mom.  I get the sense early on that this conglomeration of musings will be very different. 

We are 3 women with different lives and have a variety of opinions and thoughts about unlimited subject matter. We're not afraid to say what we really think at the best of times, and when the 3 of us get talking there isn't a lot we won't share.  Although most of my friends would concede I'm likely the most vocal, outspoken and extroverted of the 3 of us, even still I wonder how ready we are, or how ready I am, to share what we experience or talk about privately in a public forum...assuming someone will actually follow and read what we write here. I guess we're about to find out.  Here goes.

In the 30 + years that we've been friends, our lives have gone in lots of different directions.  Each of us has moved to different cities at various points in our lives - in earlier years there were months and even years between our having regular contact with each other, only to find ourselves come together again about 14 years ago - all living in the same city - each of us on our own, with every possible opportunity in front of us.  We've been pretty much inseparable since and haven't looked back. 

Since then our friendship has seen marriages, divorces (mine), moves, the purchase of homes, heartaches, illness and struggles that come with age. We have had changes in our jobs, careers, boyfriends, and bodies. We've gained and lost weight together and apart, each of us has had other friends we've known come, go, remain, and even pass away.  We've watched in awe as our sisters and friends have made the decision to have families, looking out at parenting from a distance in some ways with wonder and admiration - and in other ways as though it was some awful disease we were terrified to catch.  It has to be said that the history between us runs deep and goes very far. 

Part of what I love about our friendship is the continued pursuit of the interests we've had since we were young.. Duran Duran is the prime example. From our early teens onward this band (and several other musicians) have been an obsession we are completely submerged in. It's not only about the music but the men and the sex part of course... and in some cases the objects of our desire have remained as desirable to us as ever.  It's something we've never "outgrown" and I'm glad for it.  And for those who don't get it or understand, it's just not important that you do.  The way I see it I'm just fully pursuing the things that make happy, glad to be alive and bring me joy.. not everyone can say that.

My personal obsession with musicians started early.  The first real concert I attended (save for Donny and Marie with the Osmonds at age 10)  was Bryan Adams, at age 13.  Lady Elaine and Saint C were both in tow. At the time rush seating was the standard so we arrived early for the best chance to be at the front.  We were crushed against the barricades by the crowd but I was close enough to reach up and grab Bryan's shoe.  The next year I remember being camped out in the lobby of the Delta Hotel in search of Corey Hart.  We went up and down elevators and stalked the hallways looking for him, only to meet up with his band (which they planted to distract us), while they snuck Mr. Hart out of a side door and out of the building.  Bastards.  At the concert that night once again we rushed the stage to the front and became bruised and battered for the best possible vantage point.  It's the price you pay.

The same year I went to see a group called the Spoons perform at Flipside, which was a teenage nightclub I spent my weekends in.  After the show a large group of kids mobbed their limousine out in the parking lot.  I saw an opportunity and jumped in the limo, and shared a hot smooch with my favorite member of the band (he'll remain nameless on the basis that I was total jail bait at the time).  At the edge of the parking lot I jumped out of the limo and watched them drive off, feeling like I'd been touched by rock and roll angels.  That summer SaintC and I stayed up all night and left the house early to go see Tears for Fears, heading to the Saddledome at mid day to accost the tour bus.  The drummer and some other band dudes showed up and entertained us for a spell, sharing autographs and chit chat. Then when Roland and Curt showed up in their own tour bus, all we got was a chance to grab their jackets as they shoved past us and into the building.  But that was enough for me at the time. I got to TOUCH them.

20 years later when Saint C and I hit up the downtown core after the INXS concert, the strategy was the same but our tactics had matured.  We had grown past waiting outside with all the other groupies, hoping for a glimpse of our target hopping onto a tour bus.  We'd graduated to booking rooms at the nicer hotels and frequenting the lounges hoping for a drink or a chat with the band.   At the time, new INXS front man JD Fortune was at the top of his game, (albeit this was short lived) and was definitely an object of interest for me. 

At that concert we were front and centre and I was handed Jon Farriss' drumstick at the close of the show.  While that seemed like perfection in itself, we still wanted the chance to meet the band.  As it happened we stumbled upon the tour bus in the front of the Palliser Hotel and got the chance for autographs and a chat.  With experience on our side, we came equipped with Sharpie markers and CD sleeves ready to be signed.  JD asked us how we liked the performance and seemed genuinely concerned with what the fans thought.  I chatted with Jon and mentioned I'd seen them live in 1987 back in the Hutchence days - I wanted him to know they had done a good job cultivating their original fan base.  He seemed deeply surprised.  We went back to our hotel after this chance meeting, completely fired up. I couldn't remember feeling more star struck in my life.  That was until 2 years later, of course, when we stood face to face with Duran Duran in New York City on Broadway.   

But that's a story in itself for another time.  Duran Duran will always be the holy grail of our musical pursuits. While they continue to foster a massive fan base that is equally as crazy as we are, they play fewer shows in distant locales, and are far less accessible than other bands we've met.  They cost us more money and time and travel than any other band.  But the more difficult challenge makes the victory twice as sweet.

In some ways, we're still doing some of the same kinds of things we did at 14.  Some of us (not naming names) may not be fully comfortable even admitting it - but while our identities are confidential perhaps they will cut me some slack on this entry.   The appeal is that we can indulge in the same fantasies we had in our youth - with all the angst and passion we had back then carrying over to some degree...but now we have the money, freedom and means to do it properly.  This interest has also bled into a love for lots other bands and for new and interesting music.  It's a perfect excuse for the chance to travel to different cities, stay in cool hotels, shop and sight-see, see awesome live shows and get that incredible high that comes from being there.  I don't know if other fans feel this way - but for me there is nothing quite like it.

It's about escape. And fun.  And living life to the fullest.  And staying young.  Young at heart, anyways.

That Girl